O Remember, Remember ....

Sept 11th is a tough day for me.

I have a brother in the military and because of man's hate he is serving our country in Afghanistan. (he has a great shirt he wears. It says "in God we trust, all others we monitor" it's so true in more ways than one!) Anyway ...

Sept 11th is also my sisters birthday and anniversary. (I know who gets married on their birthday? My sister that's who, she thoght it would be a good way for Kal to remember. To bad Kal is a mighty hunter and spends her birthday and their anniversary hunting. Oh well she gets to go shopping and he isn't there to tell her no.)
I am easily side tracked.

Sept 11th is a tough day because I spend a lot of time remembering the gratitude I have for a loving Heavenly Father, who was there to comfort us all on a tough day in US history.
My prayers go to all who lost family members on that day. They also go out to those who serve our country, and their families. I am grateful for the sacrifice of the soldiers and their families.

I can still remember the morning of the attack. We had just knelt down for prayer, I had been watching the local news, and the national news was just breaking the news of the first plane crash. As my young family knelt on the floor the TV showed the second plane fly right into the 2nd tower.It didn't register until after we finished prayer what we had actually seen on the TV. We turned it back on for just a moment. We had to hurry off to get kids to school, and us to work. It is a great comfort to know that when the world was turing in turmoil we were turning to Father.

I truly believe he comforted us all thru out that day.

Now the inner turmoil... I spend so much time remembering the feeling of gratitude for safe keepings of all my famliy that I forget to remember my sister is old today and all alone. My brother is also away from his family today and alone, and my sister in law is alone.

The one thing we all have in come our faith in Jesus Christ. Today if you are remebering loss, or comfort, separation or "older sisters, and anniversaries" ....

Remember, Remember, that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation:.. a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall. Helaman 5:12

Moroni 7:27 ...for it is by faith that miracles are wrought...
From my earliest memories all i ever wanted to be was a mom. not just any mom but a mom like the stripling warriors moms. i wanted to raise children who would love their family, love their father enough to help him keep his covenants, who trusted their mothers every word, who loved the Lord, who would serve the Lord and would find joy in gospel activities. i wanted to be the mom that made a perfectly balanced breakfast every day, who was at the bus stop when the kids left for school and there when they returned. i would help with homework, have a well organized and tidy home, and dinner on the table when my husband came home. my family would spend the evenings playing games together, thinking of ways to serve other families and visiting the lonely.
lets just say it didn't turn out that way and now instead of instilling a deep and abiding faith in my children i find myself struggling to have the faith i need for miracles to be brought about in my childrens lives.
I know all the scriptures and know it is after the trial of our faith... but what i don't know is how to have that faith, or how to be worthy of the miracle.
I am not a stranger to the many blessings i have been given, my four amazing kids top the list. the only thing i wish for them is a deep, abiding and sustaining testimony of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! I know this is something they have to gain for themselves.
i have made so many mistakes though, so how do i have the faith to believe this is a miracle i can receive?