Moroni 7:27 ...for it is by faith that miracles are wrought...
From my earliest memories all i ever wanted to be was a mom. not just any mom but a mom like the stripling warriors moms. i wanted to raise children who would love their family, love their father enough to help him keep his covenants, who trusted their mothers every word, who loved the Lord, who would serve the Lord and would find joy in gospel activities. i wanted to be the mom that made a perfectly balanced breakfast every day, who was at the bus stop when the kids left for school and there when they returned. i would help with homework, have a well organized and tidy home, and dinner on the table when my husband came home. my family would spend the evenings playing games together, thinking of ways to serve other families and visiting the lonely.
lets just say it didn't turn out that way and now instead of instilling a deep and abiding faith in my children i find myself struggling to have the faith i need for miracles to be brought about in my childrens lives.
I know all the scriptures and know it is after the trial of our faith... but what i don't know is how to have that faith, or how to be worthy of the miracle.
I am not a stranger to the many blessings i have been given, my four amazing kids top the list. the only thing i wish for them is a deep, abiding and sustaining testimony of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! I know this is something they have to gain for themselves.
i have made so many mistakes though, so how do i have the faith to believe this is a miracle i can receive?
14 years ago
4 comments:
I don't know how to make you feel better, but maybe the words or a man who wanted his daughter healed and the Lord asked him if he believed and he said “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” Sometimes we have to say we have done all we can and let the Lord work on your kids and you just love them. Pleanty of people have obtained a testimony without haveing the world's perfect mother. So don't beat yourself up over the unbalanced or no breakfast situations of your life. Your doing the best you can with the tools you have been given. Personally I think that this is a lesson, Just like our Heavenly Father realized that we need agency and that he had to let each of us go... So to we as parents need to realize that our hold needs to be loosed and let the agency of our children take its course. Just as Alma the Elder let his son choose topersecuted the church, he like the man before asked the Lord to "help mine unbelief". And look at the change that occured with Alma. I will testify to you that the Lord can change our hearts if we want him to. If we find ourselves in the deepest of dark places and we can catch hold of the words of Alma about one Jesus Christ who came, our joy will be as exceeding as was our pain. Focus on what you can, the Lord will make up the difference. (you don't have to publish my comment so if it goes up directly you can delete it without offending me. I hope you know that the Lord is fully aware of you. He knows exactly how you are feeling and the things that are expedient for you. He only gives us what is expedient for us and is his will. We love you. Hang in there!!!
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonged to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it. "LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that druing the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when iI needed you most you would leave me. "
The LORD replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that i carried you.
Tasha I love you.
It's a bit demoralizing to realize we aren't the perfect parents we hoped to be. That's part of being mortal though - having agency to make decisions and learn to prioritize. No parent can do everything. You have done the best you can in your situation. If you only knew how many people admire you for the courage and strength you have shown with all you have been through!!
Your kids are getting to the age where they are going to have to finish learning how to handle their own challenges and learn their own lessons. They can look to your example, but you need to let go of the expectation that their problems are your fault. They aren't!!
All you can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other and hold on. His light will be there, I promise! You will re-find your faith.
Hugs and prayers for all of you!
(Ray will be so proud! This shows that I am internalizing the things he has been telling me for years! lol)
Tash, as the Lord says, "Lean not unto thine own understanding..." Remember that it is in the Lord's time frame that these blessing come about, not in ours. It's been a year and a half since I had the Lord answer a prayer of mine, and I can not deny that he answered me in saying that I am not meant to be alone in this lifetime. I just have to trust in him, that as I do what he has asked of me, he will bless him. Lay your burdens at his feet and go in peace. It is the only way. Love ya honey
Aunt Mary
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