and in Christ there should come every good thing. Moroni 7:22

So my friend issued a challenge to list "100 things about me now". Katee did it too and so therefore I am expected to do it too. I can't let her down. So here it goes.

1. Tonight I am exhausted.
2. Tomorrow is going to come too soon.
3. Tomorrow Krysta starts her second semester of college
4. I am really proud of her
5. I wish I could be there with her.
6. I am never going to get used to my bi-focals
7. When did I get old enough to have bi-focals?
8. I miss my nieces in VA.
9. I miss my other nieces too.
10. I have really amazing nieces.
11. I love changes... usually.
12. I hate to move.
13. 100 is a lot.
14. I wish I could go visit my aunt in Texas.
15. I have a really incredible extended family.
16. I wish I could spend A LOT more time with them.
17. I am trying to learn how to reduce my stress level.
18. I hate choosing between going for a long drive and staying in the budget!
19. I hate budgets.
20. Balancing the family budget DOES NOT reduce my stress level.
21. Reading reduces my stress, but it doesn't get the chores done.
22. Having the chores undone causes me stress.
23. Strange cycle huh?
24. Katee and I planted flowers yesterday.
25. Playing in the dirt reduces my stress.
26. Trying to keep those flowers alive causes me stress :o)
27. I really wanna go to Canton, MO.
28. I think going to Canton would reduce my stress (as long as I didn't think about the budget)
29. Tonight Marcus made chocolate cake.
30. To take to work!
31. Marcus wants to be on Biggest Loser.
32. I think he could do it.
33. I miss Dano.
34. He needs a new roof.
35. Katee thinks she just broke her toe.
36. Really I am only on 36?
37. I love Sunday!
38. I could have a whole month of Sundays and not get tired of it.
39. I love to sing.
40. I wish I could sing like my cousins.
41. Right now I could really go for a 7 layer salad.
42. I love winter.
43. I love the snowstorms.
44. I love the quietness of winter
45. I love the whiteness.
46. Is that a word?
47. I love hot chocolate and a good book during a winter storm.
48. I love the smell of homemade bread.
49. I could use a Motrin right now.
50. YAY, halfway!
51. I love the book, Third Nephi!
52. I love how it feels to read scriptures, especially when my family is all home.
53. I love Christmas.
54. I love Easter.
55. I really want a treadmill.
56. I am tryimg to figure out when my baby grew up.
57. In 6 weeks she will be a senior.
58. What do ya do when your kids leave home?
59. Marcus needs an off button tonight.
60. He is tormenting his sister!
61. I hate feet.
62. I love hands.
63. What do you think that means about me?
64. I need to go to Costco and buy pineapple and strawberries.
65. I need to finish sorting thru boxes in the garage.
66. I need to paint my nails.
67. Tonight Marcus also needs a volume control.
68. I love Marcus.
69. My husband cannot give directions.
70. His poor little sister is lost looking for our house.
71. I love my husband.
72. His little sister may not if she finally gets here.
73. One day I wanna serva mission.
74. I'd love to serve a temple mission or a church history mission.
75. I love genealogy.
76. I really stink at the research part of it.
77. I love hearing my ancestors stories.
78. I learned that a line of my dad's genalogy goes back to 160 A.D.
79. His grandfather was a king in Finland
80. Growing up we had forgien exchange students from Finland.
81. Before we knew he genealogy...cool huh!
82. My sister in law found us.
83. I need to go change the sprinklers.
84. Hmm only 84!
85. I am nervous for work tomorrow.
86. We just moved to a new building.
87. There have been a few kinks to work out.
88. I didn't think this would be so hard.
89. My favorite drink is ice water.
90. My favorite fruit is bananas
91. My favorite vegetable is petite peas.
92. I am not a huge fan of meat.
93. My favorite breakfast food is strawberry crepes
94. My favorite dinner food is tacos
95. My favorite ice cream is vanilla.
96. My favorite boy is Marcus
97. My favorite kid is Dano.
98. My favorite daughter is Krysta
99. My favorite baby is Katee.
100. My favorite of all is Earl. :o)

MADE IT!!
Now it's YOUR turn.

But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole

So I wonder if there will ever come a day when I hear these words. It seems like the last 8 months have been a big trial of my faith. Yet I do not seem to pass the test as this daughter did.

As a girl I have a vision of what the future would be and what life would be like. When I graduated from high school and went off to college I planned to graduate with a degree in early childhood education. I planned to put that degree to work at home. If I needed to work I could do it from home and be there for my kids. Well that didn't go as planned. In fact a lot of my life's plans didn't go as planned.

Here's the biggest hurdle for me ... getting over it!

When you set goals for your life and completing goals is how you have always defined your life. Where are you when at 42 those goals are all unfulfilled? Do my goals truly define me? Do my children define me? Does my job? My companion? My home? I thought they did. I thought they would.

I have spent the last 8 months reliving every mistake I ever made. Trying to decide which one took me so off course. Then it hit me, it wasn't my choices it was my faith. 15 years ago I made a choice I never truly had faith in. Since then I have not had the faith in myself to make choices. When it came to choices at work or in my church callings, those seemed easy. At work I just did what Jon, Lee and John told me to do, at church I knew the Priesthood leaders and the Lord would not let me go astray. In my life no such faith. Now I am in a place where I feel lost, confused and scared and wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch the hem of the Saviors robe and have him tell me I am whole.

What gives you the strength, faith and courage to make those hard choices?
What moves you to reach and grab "the hem" and KNOW that it will make you whole?

So this years journey ... FAITH TO MAKE ME WHOLE!